THE STUNNING LOCATION
Death in Paradise really is set in paradise - the title isn't messing about. Every episode allows you to wander a glowingly beautiful island in the Caribbean. It has a suitably pretty name (Saint Marie), spectacular natural landmarks (a volcano, a rainforest), and no shortage of restaurants and bars where you can kick back, sip an ice-crammed cocktail, and bid sweet goodbye to the cares of Blighty. There's also a Crown Court, but hopefully you won't have anything to do with that. Hopefully.
THE SCORCHING WEATHER
You want sun? You'll get sun. There's more sun on this show than you can shake a bottle of Factor 50 at at. No wonder detective Richard Poole is squinting all the time. But don't be like him: plonk your shades on and enjoy it. You're on holiday for goodness sake.
There's a lot of sweat going on in Death in Paradise. Foreheads look like mirrors and clothes cling to people's backs. Which is fine, because it isn't a proper holiday in the sun if your typical bodily crevice isn't roughly as moist as a wet wipe.
THE MOSQUITO NETS
Never mind the interesting local cuisine, peculiar modes of transport, or baffling religious customs. The real sign you're doing an "exotic holiday" right is if there are mosquito nets draped around your bed. Heck, you're more than just a tourist by this point. You're practically Palin.
THE CALYPSO MUSIC
If you had to think of holiday music, calypso would have to be top of the list (with naff pop in Benidorm's Brit bars coming a close second). Well, not only is there calypso in Death in Paradise, it even has a calypso singer being murdered. Which maybe isn't quite so holiday-ish, but... yeah, calypso music!
THE AWKWARD ENGLISH TYPES
Yes, we're mainly referring to detective Richard Poole here. He represents every socially awkward, etiquette-befuddled English type who's ever wandered around moaning about the heat in a glorious foreign locale. Holidays just wouldn't be the same without them.
THE OCCASIONAL HURRICANE
One killing on the show takes place during an actual hurricane. And it's not like you're likely to run into a hurricane on a day trip to Bognor, is it? In paradise - or Paradise - it's an occupational hazard. But hey, at least it'll make your holiday stories slightly less tedious when you regale your work mates later on.
THE SAND GETTING EVERYWHERE
And finally: sand. All of the sand. As Richard Poole well knows, sand is absolutely everywhere in Saint Marie, which is bad news for him (because he's the sort of chap who needs his inoculation jabs whenever he goes beyond the M25), but good news for us armchair holidaymakers. Now fix yourself a big pink cocktail - or just a nice cup of tea - and enjoy your stay.