1. PRESENTING YOUR FUTURE BRIDE...
Victoria's family arrange a formal meeting to pair her up with prospective husband Charlie MacFell - a sweet, spineless suitor who is spectacularly out of his depth. Victoria keeps him waiting... and waiting... before casually turning up just as Charlie's leaving. Her excuse? "Sorry, I forgot." And when her good sister Nellie tells her off, she's ever so apologetic: "Oh Nellie. Why don't you go and play in the nettle patch?" She's a prize catch, that Victoria Chapman.
2. THE GRATEFUL DAUGHTER
She may have grown up in pampered surroundings with doting parents who've spoilt her rotten (literally). But it's fair to say Victoria isn't exactly what you'd call a daddy's girl. As she puts it to Charlie in her usual matter-of-fact manner, "Fathers should be kept very firmly in their place." (Needless to say, Charlie will soon come to realise that her philosophy extends to husbands as well as fathers.)
3. THE SERPENT'S SMILE
Victoria may have a sharp tongue, but she doesn't have to say anything at all to dominate proceedings. Just consider the moment her sister Nellie makes the incredibly accurate observation that "Poor Charlie's been thrown to the lions. She'll eat him alive." Cut to Victoria's smirking face, which positively radiates selfish malevolence. Never has Catherine Zeta-Jones's beauty looked so ominously irresistible.
4. SEALED WITH A KISS
Thanks to her veritable harem of eager male admirers, Victoria is more than a little experienced in all matters of a carnal nature. The same is certainly not true of innocent Charlie.
So does she go easy on him after the tender, hesitant, but rather awkward first kiss he gives her? Not quite. "Oh god Charlie," she says bluntly, staring him straight in the eyes. "You'll have to do better than that." Ouch.
5. NO APOLOGIES FORTHCOMING
Realising your wife has been cheating on you is bad enough. But realizing it thanks to a message scrawled in lipstick by her lover ("That's my girl") is somewhat worse. But when Charlie demands an explanation from Victoria, she replies in the most Victoria-ish way possible. "You're going to beg me... beg me to go to bed with you, aren't you?" she says with a contemptuous smile. As he looks on in disbelief, she then goes on to insult his seriously ill mother, just for good measure.
6. A NEW VICTORIA
Imagine Charlie's surprise when he returns home from the horrors of the Great War to find Victoria an apparently changed woman. She's softly-spoken, wistful, even apologetic about her past behavior. And she claims to want to make their marriage work. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays it so well that you almost believe her... until she suddenly gives the game away by snarling, stabbing her finger and yelling "I'll tear your life apart." Ah. Normal service has been resumed.