You always know when watching Sharon, Tracey and Dorien that there's going to be a lot of back-and-forth. Birds of a Feather wouldn't be the same without it.
1. Mum’s the word
Sharon: I don't want to end up a lonely dried up old prune like (looks at Dorien)...
Dorien: If not having a baby is a crime against womanhood, Sharon, then so is not having a waist.
2. A geography lesson
Sharon (stuffing her face with a chilli dog): Good honest English nosh.
Tracey: Chilli dogs ain't English. Chilli's in South America.
3. Everybody needs good neighbours
Dorien (reacting to news the sisters are moving away): Why are you going?
Sharon: I can't stand the neighbours.
Dorien (glaring): Well that's two things you and I share. That and the waist sizes of Little and Large.
4. The dating game
Sharon: I've virtually thrown myself at every decent looking man in a five mile radius. Barely half a dozen of 'em give me a second look.
Tracey: And only then after you made a fuss of their guide dogs.
5. He’s just a big baby
Dorien (giving financial advice): Go and see Jonathan, my accountant.
Tracey: I'll see AN accountant, not your accountant. He's a pervert.
Dorien: That's a little harsh.
Tracey: You had him chained to your living room door naked except for a giant nappy.
Dorien: Jonathan is a very bright and smart guy.
Sharon (nodding): All his romper suits are Savile Row.
Sharon (to Dorien): There you are. Ever present. Like the fart that follows you into the car.
7. Close but no cigar
Garth (talking about his depressed jailbird dad): He hung onto the cigar cutter.
Garth: Well it's got a sharp blade hasn't it?
Sharon: So what do you think he's gonna do with it, circumcise himself?
8. Aging disgracefully
Dorien: When a woman reaches a certain age, she starts to notice certain changes in her body.
Sharon: I know what you mean, Dor. One minute you're strolling along a moonlit beach arm in arm with some handsome young gigolo. Next minute you turn around and your bum's rubbed out both your footprints.
9. Forward the sisterhood
Dorien: We are all three of us emancipated! This is the perfect opportunity to celebrate our womanhood!
Sharon (uncertain): Um... you don't want us to go out into the woods and talk about our periods, do you...?
10. That clears that up
Sharon (talking about Freudian slips): So if you mis-address a letter, it's never an accident?
Dorien: So Freud contends.
Sharon: Ah. That explains why I put the cheque for the gas in the envelope for the electric.
Dorien: No that's not Freud, that's fraud.
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