The Comebacks...

1. 

   1. Mum’s the word

   Sharon: I don't want to end up a lonely dried up old prune like (looks at Dorien)...
   Dorien: If not having a baby is a crime against womanhood, Sharon, then so is not having a waist.
   

2. 

   2. A geography lesson

   Sharon (stuffing her face with a chilli dog): Good honest English nosh.
   Tracey: Chilli dogs ain't English. Chilli's in South America.
   

3. 

   3. Everybody needs good neighbours

   Dorien (reacting to news the sisters are moving away): Why are you going?
   Sharon: I can't stand the neighbours.
   Dorien (glaring): Well that's two things you and I share. That and the waist sizes of Little and Large.
   

4. 

   4. The dating game

   Sharon: I've virtually thrown myself at every decent looking man in a five mile radius. Barely half a dozen of 'em give me a second look.
   Tracey: And only then after you made a fuss of their guide dogs.
   

5. 

   5. He’s just a big baby

   Dorien (giving financial advice): Go and see Jonathan, my accountant.
   Tracey: I'll see AN accountant, not your accountant. He's a pervert.
   Dorien: That's a little harsh.
   Tracey: You had him chained to your living room door naked except for a giant nappy.
   Dorien: Jonathan is a very bright and smart guy.
   Sharon (nodding): All his romper suits are Savile Row.
   

6. 

   6. Ouch

   Sharon (to Dorien): There you are. Ever present. Like the fart that follows you into the car.
   

7. 

   7. Close but no cigar

   Garth (talking about his depressed jailbird dad): He hung onto the cigar cutter.
   Sharon: So?
   Garth: Well it's got a sharp blade hasn't it?
   Sharon: So what do you think he's gonna do with it, circumcise himself?

8. 

   8. Aging disgracefully

   Dorien: When a woman reaches a certain age, she starts to notice certain changes in her body.
   Sharon: I know what you mean, Dor. One minute you're strolling along a moonlit beach arm in arm with some handsome young gigolo. Next minute you turn around and your bum's rubbed out both your footprints.

9. 

   9. Forward the sisterhood

   Dorien: We are all three of us emancipated! This is the perfect opportunity to celebrate our womanhood!
   Sharon (uncertain): Um... you don't want us to go out into the woods and talk about our periods, do you...?

10. 

    10. That clears that up

    Sharon (talking about Freudian slips): So if you mis-address a letter, it's never an accident?
    Dorien: So Freud contends.
    Sharon: Ah. That explains why I put the cheque for the gas in the envelope for the electric.
    Dorien: No that's not Freud, that's fraud.