If Our Shows Were Seasons, What Would They Be?

As summer gives way to autumn, it has us pondering a highly important question: which seasons would some of Drama’s most popular shows be? (Bear with us, it’ll make sense.)

Rosemary and Thyme

SPRING

Ah, spring, when the sun peeks shyly out from behind the grey curtains of winter and the world starts to feel new again. It's the season of renewal, rejuvenation... and flowers. Lots and lots of flowers. And what's the single floweriest show on television? A show so flowery that even the most rose-resistant, amaryllis-averse viewer will suddenly come over all Monty Don after watching a single episode? The answer, of course, is Rosemary and Thyme.

This cosy crime series follows a pair of ladies, plucky plant pathologist Rosemary Boxer and bolshy ex-copper Laura Thyme, as they make a go of it as gardeners - a job which requires far more solving of murders than anyone could have anticipated. Positively brimming with carnations, chrysanthemums and corpses, the show isn't just spring-like because of all the aromatic greenery. It also has that whole "new beginnings" thing going on, with Rosemary and Laura's late-blooming friendship as green-fingered sleuths giving them a fresh start in life.

Honourable mention in the spring-series stakes should also go to Father Brown, simply because of its ravishing, rural English setting. Watching the good priest crack cases in the Costwolds will make you feel spring is in the air, even if you're catching it in the frosty depths of winter.

SUMMER

If summer was a TV series, it would be Death in Paradise. Just watching this show is liable to give you a light tan. Perhaps even sweat patches around your armpits (we advise wearing a loose-fitting top before settling in for an episode). Unfolding on a gorgeous Caribbean island, where the sun is forever beating down, music is forever in the air, and a pasty-faced British detective is forever fanning himself and looking flustered, the show oozes summer the way DI Richard Poole oozes beady globs of sweat.

Best watched while sipping a tall, exotically fruity cocktail (or, failing that, a glass of orange squash with a tiny paper umbrella in it), Death in Paradise is such a sun-glazed holiday of a show, you practically clock up extra air miles with each episode, only without the environmental impact. Win-win. Special mention should also be made of another summery saga, The Heart Guy.

The story of a cocky surgeon in Sydney who's forced to work as a GP in a small town, it's got that gorgeously balmy Aussie vibe that'll make you want to laze on your porch and soak up the rays. In the absence of porch and rays, we recommend sofa and another episode of The Heart Guy.

AUTUMN

What is autumn? It's orange, is what it is. Orange, with dashes of copper and mahogany. And these are the exact, emblematic colours of Murdoch Mysteries, which follows the eponymous, adorable Detective Murdoch as he solves crimes in late 19th Century Toronto, while also being a bit of a steampunk genius by inventing incredible futuristic weapons, early sonar equipment and, er, the fax machine. While the show is set across all seasons, it's forever autumnal thanks to that orangey-brown, maple-toned ambience. Plus, all the retrofuturistic gadgets and flamboyant vintage-era garb give the show a rather Halloweeny feel.

Of course, the great poet Keats famously described autumn as the "season of mists and mellow fruitfulness", and few characters on television are as mellow (or, indeed, as fruitful) as Kavanagh QC. As played by the incomparable John Thaw, the barrister fights for the underdog, winning cases and righting wrongs while remaining as serene and wistful as a man going on a walk through a leaf-strewn park on an autumn afternoon. Lovely.

WINTER

Winter. A time to pull out your thickest socks, eat inordinate amounts of stew and daydream about long johns. Winter is, in a word, nippy. And what is the nippiest of shows on Drama? A strong case could be made for Taggart, which is set in Scotland, a place renowned for its nippiness. Not only is the temperature often on the cool side on the mean streets of Glasgow, but the vibe is pretty frosty too, as the hardened detectives deal with all manner of dark and tempestuous crimes.

Of course, "winter" can refer to more than the season itself. There's also the metaphorical winter. The winter of one's life, when the tendency is to relax and take it easy. To perhaps develop a new hobby, such as astronomy, model-building or plucking terrifying new nostril hairs, all while occasionally wondering who or what an Ariana Grande is. But tell that to the team of retired coppers in New Tricks, who refuse to go quietly into the night. Working the coldest of cases while grumbling about the troubling idiosyncrasies of the modern world (see: women bosses and 70% dark chocolate), this bunch prove that winter doesn't mean having to go into hibernation with only a packet of Werther's Originals for company. They're an inspiration to us all.